I‘ve sung more than a few J-Lo songs in my life, but I don’t own any of his albums. Also, I think Ben Affleck is a great actor and filmmaker, but I haven’t seen all of his movies.

These Hollywood stars are a couple I’ll probably never meet, and yet, over the past few months, the pop culture trash demon lurking within has insisted that I look into every tabloid mention of their relationship.

When news broke on Sunday that Jennifer Lynn Lopez and Benjamin Géza Affleck-Boldt had married the day before in VegasI burst into tears of joy.

The “true love” Lopez describes about their connection is a chaotic force for the most part, and often it’s pretty messy.

When they announced their engagement in 2002, “Bennifer” was a phenomenon in film, music and music videos and perhaps the first truly multimedia celebrity romance. “We fell in love, we were horny and maybe too approachable,” Affleck said in 2008. When the movie Gigli turned out to be a creative misfire, the public hunger that accessibility had sparked turned cannibalistic. “They were young, stunningly beautiful, fabulously wealthy and clearly hot for each other,” this post explained“so it seemed like a good time to drop them an ankle.”

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck in a scene from the 2003 film Gigli. Photograph: Reuters

They were overthrown. Four days before their planned nuptials in 2003, the couple found themselves “seriously considering hiring three decoy wives for three different locations” and annulled the marriage. Shortly after, they separated.

Frankly, at the time, I did not pay much attention to it. They quickly moved on to other partners, other marriages, children, divorces, and news of either or both of these complete strangers was only gleaned from magazines in doctors’ offices, d ‘a television passed in front, of a pop-conflict, of spirit of gossip buddy.

Yet 18 years have now passed, during which I – now more or less an adult – have experienced and witnessed so much of the mess of love and humanity at large that the story of reuniting of J-Lo and Affleck inspired me with an all-too-rare modern sense of hope.

Writing a column forces me to follow the news, which, at present, is not rosy. My internet diet this week was to learn about “coffin paymentsfrom the Russian government to the families whose sons were sacrificed in Russia’s brutal and unnecessary war in Ukraine. There are the details of how Australia became an extinction machine in the horrifying details of the state of the environment report. A Democrat from Texas made a terrifying speech describing his party as “the only thing that stands between this country and fascism” – and he is right.

These are the macro issues. The mic of missed connections, difficult relationships, bad choices and regrets assails us all at some point in our lives.

So forgive me if my eyes have repeatedly wandered to a happy celebrity story of two people who, in fact, sorted themselves out and overcame what kept them apart, and forged a path through the tinkering of vast relationships. and complex with so many others, and the past, the time, the scars, the damage, the disappointment and the pressure of their unique fame and scrutiny to find their way back to each other.

When the world is overwhelmed, it is the courage to pursue what matters most to us that gives us the strength to face this world. This is why joyful human rituals like marriage endure.

Announcing her marriage to Affleck, J-Lo explained as they stood in line to receive a marriage license between a gay couple and a couple with a young family, “we all want the same thing – for the world to recognize us as partners and to declare our love to the world through the ancient and almost universal symbol of marriage.

On the other side of the world, in Australia, my partner Ben and I barely knew we were using this ancient symbol at the same time. With my mum’s health declining, we postponed our big planned party and on Saturday – complete with a $99 dress and a handful of chairs – we had a quick little wedding on a nearby beach while my mum could still be there. .

I may never meet J-Lo or Affleck, but we’ll always have that in common. My wishes to the happy couple are sincere.