A bloody mundane and boring affair that spends its 144 clueless minutes of awkward romance, dreary melodrama, seedy confrontations and a violently constrained song for the most lame reasons, Sukanya Verma sighs.

Salman Khan is so deep in his formulaic rut that the only way he’s going to find out is by handing out more of the same. Except now Swagger has switched places in desperation.

So it’s the same age bhai stood in front of his audience and asked them to love him.

Between poorly constructed metareferences Maine Pyar Kiya, Hum Aapke Hain Koun..!, Wantedfamous dance steps and style brackets, this drab remake by Ajiths already 08/15 Veeram hopes to ride the wave of South cinema success but can’t let go of his inherent Bollywood mentality.

Lacking a spark, story, or masala, this boring south meets north khichdi, prepared by Farhad Samji, notorious for his broad brand of comedy, blows his own trumpet, whistles for himself herogiri and is packed with actors who become cheerleaders for Bhai.

When an actor starts to idolize his own imagery, it can only spell doom.

Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ka Jaan is a classic example of what happens when a superstar takes career fatigue as a challenge and fights it with even more career fatigue.

Although not as scary as antim or Radhedepending on how low your benchmark is, Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ka Jaan is a bloody mundane and boring affair that spends its 144 clueless minutes in awkward romance, dreary melodrama, seedy confrontations and a violently constrained song for the most lame of reasons.

Salman beats some bad guys, there’s a song.

Salman cuts off his curls, there is a song.

Salman shaves his beard, there is a song.

Ironically, despite all the action surrounding the title Bhai and Jaan, Salman sleepwalks through a part that repeats the stereotype as his favorite genre.

As for the sprawling cast, you’ll hear more of them in movie promotions than in the actual movie.

While Venkatesh will no doubt be wasted in a role that adds nothing to his fame or skill, he at least gets to say the very best line of Slumberfest: “The End.”

More of Sukanya’s Review SOON!

Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ka Jaan Review Rediff Rating: